Gimp your grill

This is ridiculous:

Last fall, Dave and Allison Petrullo of Commack, N.Y., installed a custom-built Cal Spas grill on their patio with an outdoor refrigerator. They spent more than $100,000 renovating their backyard with a new synthetic deck, masonry, a whirlpool and a pool waterfall, so $6,500 more for Mr. Petrullo to have a brick sanctuary with a Cal Spas grill as its central altar seemed like nothing. “I told him to just go for it,” Ms. Petrullo said. “And get your dream barbecue.”

Though they have actually cooked on the grill only three times since they installed it, it has been a hit with Mr. Petrullo’s friends, who congregate around it at parties and give it a going-over like a pack of high school boys around a Corvette, Ms. Petrullo said. “They like to lift up the hood and play with the knobs,” she said. “They open the doors underneath, and they open the fridge next to it to check it out.”

Weber Smokey Joe portable grillYou spend $6,500 for a grill you use three times and then show off to your buddies? I’d much rather have a $40 Smokey Joe that I use at least THREE TIMES A FUCKING WEEK for roasting veggies, smoking meats, and searing bison steaks. I love that little grill. I’m smoking bacon on that little grill tomorrow. Has Dave Petrullo ever motherfucking smoked bacon?

Don’t get me wrong: I want a bigger grill, but right now, I’m just eyeing the Performer model from Weber. But even that “bigger grill” is only $370, not some $6,500 conspicuous-consumption ego stroke.

Sure, it would be delish to have a custom job with built-in fridge, hot smoker, and sink. But that ain’t happening while we live in NYC, and it’s hardly my A1 consumer-lust fantasy anyway.

Some folks just got more money than sense.

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